So, I had a baby..

In October 2010 I gave birth to a son. If I had to give insight or advice it would be:

1. Everyone has a different definition of "big."

I had a woman tell that she would bet cash money I would have a ten pound baby. the woman she was with replied "What are you talking about? She is tiny!"
My mother in law was concerned I was not big enough.
The orderly at the hospital said "Oh my god are you having twins?" the same day the ultrasound tech said "I am going to say it will be a six pound baby."

2. Every pregnancy is different.

I did not throw up once while pregnant. I knew something was up when I did not want any pickles. I craved chicken and lemon water/lemonade for about two or three weeks. Just because so-and-so smelled like garlic and drank clamato juice does not mean you will do the same.

3. Make a birth plan.

Plan for what you would do in common scenarios. I was not getting a C-section but I told them what I wanted in case I did have one.

4. Push with contractions.

Now this may seem like a duh but I tried to hold the baby in while waiting for the doctor. When we he did not show up I just started pushing hell bent for sunday and ended up with sulcus tear. I had the baby without the doctor present so I am not too concerned about the next pregnancy as sulcus tears are rare. I only had one because (IMO) I pushed too hard without a contraction causing the baby to come down too fast. By the way, according to the doctor the nurse never even told him I had gotten to eight cm let alone 10 cm.

5. If you go to the hospital bring food. Lots of food.

I went in for test which turned into an hours long affair in which the nurse refused me food because she could not reach the doctor. She could not reach the doctor because she was calling the wrong doctor. When the right doctor showed up he gave me a cervical pipener and I was not allowed to eat. When I was allowed to eat the hospital only had a ham and turkey sandwich available. I was in the hospital for four days and they only fed me on the third night and the forth morning and night. Any other time it had to be the ham and turkey or the food I brought. Gee, good thing I had started eating meat while pregnant, huh? If I had been vegetarian I would have starved.

6. Double check with your doctor. Even things you may think are normal.

After the baby I had locchia, the period you get after birth. It started smelling bad. Then it got worse. I had to take cipro for an infection. If I had just assumed it was supposed to smell that way it could have gone untreated.
Besides nothing feels better than an OB/GYN saying "that's normal."

Pummelos Are Delicious

Things I have done recently

Bought a house in 2009
Had a kid in 2010
Ate a pummelo in 2011

Pummelos are awesome. They are like non-acidic grapefruit with yellow skin and Barbara Cartland pink pith. It smells fantastic. When you peel the membrane from the flesh
the membrane resembles a tropical plant and the edible part looks like the hypodermis in the cutaway view skin chart in my dermatologists office. Delicious and a good example why I can never do drugs. I get giddy over citrus fruit; drugs would push me over the edge.

It's funny sometimes...

I had the following conversation yesterday.

Woman customer: You've lost quite a bit of weight haven't you?
Me: (not wanting to get into the whole I gained it then lost it thing) I have lost some, yeah.
WC: Isn't it great when people acknowledge it?
Me: Well I got sick.
WC: (shocked) That's not a good way to lose weight!!

At least she did not say that she wanted to hit her head on a tiled bathroom wall so she could stop wanting to eat. I had a customer say that once to another customer (a stranger) then refuse to touch my hand lest I give her my fat.

Bless your hearts

Regarding an argument/discussion from earlier today that is still bothering me seven hours later and making me sick to my stomach, I will only say this:

God Bless

Loving single parents
Loving two parent families
Loving gay parents
Loving foster parents
Loving adoptive parents
Surrogate mothers
Loving step parents
Neglected children of all kinds
Children still looking for a home

My hope is one day every child will find a happy home.

Never let others dictate what is right for you and your family, only you and yours can make that decision.

Weight and Wedding Related (may be triggering)

I had started writing a detailed account of my weight history when I realized all the info you need is this: I got a job, I gained weight and have since lost weight but not as much as I gained which means I am still bigger than when I started the job. I will admit that I lost the weight quicker that I gained the weight. I have done this without trying which should tell you I have a medical issue.

My co-workers go on about how much weight I have lost. Well, the co-workers who concern themselves with weight at any rate. This does not bother me as I am close with these people and they see me everyday.

The thing that bothers me is the people who I do not know from Adam who come into my work and go on about how good I look and how did I lose weight. I tell them I am not trying which as was written above should tell you I HAVE A MEDICAL ISSUE. This does not stop them. "I wish I could lose weight like that" etc. etc.

I need to make a Procrastinator's New Year Resolution. The next time someone asks, I will answer the way I want to; Have you lost weight? Yes I have. You look good. Thank you (in such a tone that denotes I am purely taking the compliment from where you meant it, free of my judgment.) Are you trying? No. How did you do it? I have a common hormonal disease that causes weight gain. I am on medication now to help my body produce that proper hormone levels. Some of the weight loss is from the medication. The medication has side effects that are harmful to my heart. I am happy at my size just as it is now. My weight is pretty level now and if I gain all the weight back I will be cool with it. In all honesty I would not want to lose much more because I am vain and think it looks weird on someone like me who has small features. However it not something I spend a lot of time thinking about because I am too busy for things like that.

Hopefully, by answering this way I will either educate them or shame them into never asking me personal questions again.

I just can't help think about Terri Schiavo and what must have been said to her while she was vomiting to drop weight and her potassium level at the same time. It must be hard to give up an eating disorder when the whole time you have everyone tells you how good you are looking. Then after she went into the vegetative state one morning radio host commented on how fat she got after they started feeding her with a tube.

As a postscript: Thank You to the one woman who honestly asked me if I was sick after commenting that I had lost weight. It is still a personal question but if more people show that kind of concern the world would be a better place. Maybe.

Jessica Simpson and the Rapture

Jessica Simpson wore an unflattering pair of pants the other day and therefore, according to the television, the end days are here.

Have you ever tried to pretend to be stupid only to get a headache after a while? Entertainment reporters are immune to that feeling.

No, I am not linking to the picture because I just don't want to.

Merry (Old) Christmas

My Granny called today, January sixth, Old Christmas. I hope yours was a nice one.

Breakin Up Christmas
Telliquah Old Christmas

Happy New Year!

Just think this will be the last year for a long time that you will see those novelty eyeglasses with the round zero lenses.

http://www.shadesoffun.com/Nov-CP/2009_new_years_eve_glasses.html

I really hope my neighbors don't blow up one of the cars in the parking lot.

Also, for those of you keeping track today (January 1st) is the 8th day of Christmas.

Things that make me cry

Sometimes I cry easily. The other day, a middle aged black woman brought a print into my store. It was a portrait of Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King. Underneath his picture was gold script lettering: "The Dreamer." In the upper right hand corner was a portrait of Barack Obama. Underneath his picture was also gold script lettering: "The Dream."

I started tearing up and when I later recounted this story, I really started tearing up again. It is such a powerful, beautiful sentiment when put that way.

I so hope his term in office will be one of the best we have ever had.

The Wedding train keeps chugging along

Don't ask me how wedding plans are going. Don't you see my profile?

P-R-O-C-R-A-S-T-I-N-A-T-O-R

My wedding is in three weeks and I have no food or music.

But we have a cake by God!!

Hey, wait a minute!

I have had two "hey, wait a minute" moments recently.

#1 Hey, wait a minute, I thought I was the only one who felt that way! Flickhead Spanking Babs Stanwyck

#2 Hey, wait a minute, I have the sweater the second guy from the right is wearing! And I wear mine unironically! Green Living Ugly Christmas Sweater parties